For years, male comics, male audience members, and married heterosexual couples in the audience would proposition me after shows. I would be just talking about my life — having a girlfriend, going to a movie with that girlfriend, whatever — and for some reason, that would get folks going. They’d want to talk to me about my sex life, or worse, their sex life. And the thing is, I’m not into men. Because I’m a lesbian. So I’m not into men. Or really, married women. Or straight women. Or like, you know, anyone, since I was just onstage talking about my girlfriend.
Of course, women are oversexualized. We know that. We sell beer with that. But two women — well, that’s the stuff of sweeps week. Porn is a huge part of that. I’m fine with folks watching whatever consensual stuff works for them, but I’m not super stoked on men (because this part is always men) absorbing my actual life into their Web history. I mean, an 80-year-old man once asked me after a show if he could will me his collection of soft-core pornography. I think I had been talking about The Terminator that particular night.
But 80-year-olds aside, I’m not going to hide my sexuality. Because if I stop talking about my life and my sexuality with some degree of candor — not even a huge degree, but some! — then comedy is just left with a sea of dude comics miming wieners onstage forever. I don’t hear myself represented onstage, and that’s OK. I’ll represent myself. I’m happy to.”